Breaking up with Your Phone: 9 Expert-Approved 9 Strategies
Mobile phones have become an integral part of our lives, offering convenience but also unintended consequences. They enhance our connectivity and access to information but can lead to overdependence and distractions. Personally, I experienced a phase of excessive reliance on my phone, spending countless hours mindlessly scrolling through social media, playing games, and browsing the web. Unfortunately, this digital obsession caused me to neglect real-life interactions, relationships, and the present moment. However, through self-reflection, I realized that virtual connections could never replace the fulfillment found in fully experiencing the real world. To regain control of my time, focus, and mental well-being, I knew I needed to make a change. Although the journey was challenging, I managed to overcome the constant need for connection and refocus my life on meaningful pursuits. As my real-world social circles and hobbies thrived, my reliance on the phone naturally diminished. Looking back, the answer seems simple: we must disconnect and cherish life’s important moments. However, simplicity is often the hardest thing to achieve.
1. Set Limits:
Using the digital wellbeing tools on your phone to set strict limits on app usage and overall screen time is one of the most effective ways to curb smartphone dependence. For example, if you find yourself spending excessive time on social media apps like Instagram, set a daily limit of 1 hour. Once you reach the limit, your phone will notify you, allowing you to make a conscious choice about whether or not you want to continue using the app.
According to Tristan Harris, former Google design ethicist and founder of the Time Well Spent movement, built-in tools for managing screen time and app usage can be useful for “hacking back” your technology use.
2. Create ‘No Phone’ Zones: Designating phone-free areas in your home was another useful way. For example, keeping your bedroom the zone not only mitigate arousal prior to sleep, but can also help reduce blue light stimulation. It also encourages you to engage in alternative relaxing activities like reading a book.
This strategy is advocated by many experts including Catherine Price, author of “How to Break Up with Your Phone”. In this book, she recommends that making your bedroom a ‘no phone’ zone for at least an hour before bed to improve your sleep, mood, and stress levels.
3. Establish ‘No Phone’ Times: Choosing specific periods to construct the no phone times helps break the habit loop. For example, make the first hour after waking up a ‘no phone’ time, which allows you to start your day without distractions and help you to be more present and focused. You can also designate phone-free time while eating meals, exercising, or pursuing hobbies.
Cal Newport, author of “Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World”, argues for establishing ‘no phone’ periods each day to minimize distractions, increase focus, and be more present in daily activities.
4. Turn Off Notifications: Most of the notifications we receive on our phones are not essential or important. Disable notifications from apps that waste your time like games, shopping, and social media. Reducing the bombardment of alerts and rings significantly decreases the temptation to grab your phone and scroll mindlessly.
Cal Newport, author of “Digital Minimalism”, argues for turning off notifications to avoid distraction and increase focus. In his book, he writes “Notifications are designed to be psychologically manipulative. They give you a shot of dopamine each time you check your phone, essentially rewarding you chemically for maintaining a state of high alertness about whatever is happening in your digital realm.”
5. Use a Real Alarm Clock: Substitute your smartphone for a traditional alarm clock. This avoids the habit of checking notifications and messages first thing in the morning after your alarm goes off.
Tony Stubblebine, CEO of health tech company Coach.me, believes that relying on your smartphone as an alarm clock fuels addiction by causing you to start and end each day “plugged in”. Using a traditional alarm clock helps maintain necessary boundaries for a healthy technology-life balance.
6. Mindful usage: It’s important to use your phone with intention instead of out of habit. Only check your phone with a clear purpose, such as looking up a specific recipe for dinner. Put away your phone once you’ve found the information you need. This strategy involves being fully present when using your phone instead of mindlessly scrolling and clicking. It helps break the unhealthy habit loop and reestablish control over your technology use.
Bestselling author, James Clear, promotes the idea of “habit stacking” — pairing a new habit with an existing one to make it stick. Using your phone with purpose and mindfulness instead of automaticity stacks a good habit on top of a trigger you’re unlikely to avoid.
7. Physical Activity: Engaging in exercise or physical activity is a productive way to avoid excessive smartphone use and reclaim your time. Not only does this reduce your screen time, but it also provides mental and physical health benefits.
According to research from Harvard University, exercise is one of the most effective ways to break bad habits and addictions. Even light physical activity like walking or yoga can help overcome the urge to use your smartphone.
8. Digital Detox: This might be a more aggressive strategy. A digital detox involves taking an extended break from using digital devices like smartphones. For example, try turning off your phone for an entire weekend and fill that time with offline. Removing yourself from technology and immersing yourself in the real world helps gain insight into harmful technology habits and reconnect with the real world.
An author and life coach, Deepak Chopra insist that digital detoxes where you completely unplug from technology for a period of time are “essential for both well-being and productivity”. This can be challenging but highly rewarding.
9. Social Interaction: One of the main reasons people overuse their phones is to connect with others. However, social media cannot replace genuine human connection. Make spending time with friends and family in person a priority over digital interaction. For example, instead of messaging friends, call them to make plans to meet for coffee or shared activities. Fulfilling your need for real social interaction and relationships will make constant phone use feel less necessary or meaningful over time.
According to psychologist Susan Pinker, in-person social interaction and relationships have a profound influence on wellbeing and longevity. While online relationships have their place, they cannot replicate the biological effects of face-to-face contact.
